On January 10th, 2012, my trip began.
I took a train to Nagoya Airport, and flew to El Paso where I had been 6 years ago.
There, I met my another family in the states and stayed at their place for a week.
The doggy I used to be with was dead 3 years ago which was the saddest news I had in my trip.
This chabby dog is also the one I used to be with, but he grew a lot bigger now.
The next day Jan 11th, Carlos (who's my host family) and I took an airplane to Dallas.
This trip was taken in order to get my driver's license renewed.
We arrived at Dallas late at the night and went to a hotel where I booked.
The next day, we rented a car to go to the DPS which was located in a downtown of Dallas Fortworth.
Well, I couldn't get it renewed because I need a Visa in order to show a proof of citizenship.
The law has been changed strictly since I came back to Japan, and it's a lot hard for people came from outside the states to get one.
Needless to say, it was because of 911, increasing of terrorism, fear of Mexican gangs, and other concerns of the world safety.
I understood the circumstances, and I didn't have any choice but to gave up my driver's license renewed.
So, now we had time to go arround at Dallas!
We went to The 6Th Floor Museum where a gunman shot the fires to John F.Kenedy.
The building in redbrown color in the right side is the museum.
At the museum, you have your headphone which guides you the history of JFK.
It was rather interesting to learn about one of the most widely known, popular, yet unfortunate president of the United States of America.
This is the street where JFK was died.
The death of JFK is still a mistery of most of the people in the states and surely it won't be cleard so easily.
The next early mornig, we flew back to El Paso.
I could still use my driver's license as my ID, so the trip was nothing but an easy one.
We did lost at Dallas Fortworth Airpot (because it's a crazy huge airport), but the trip went very well so far.
In the late morning of Jan 13th, we were back at El Paso.
It was really a relief as I was the one who took all the reservations of the trip.
Now I can go anywhere if they speak English (or Japanese)!
The day went pease and queit, and we just stayed in the house.
The next day, Jan 14th, Carlos and Laura (Carlos's wife) took me to a Mexican restaurant and we ate our breakfast there.
After that, they took me to an outlet which had not been there when I was in El Paso.
Shopping is fun even if you are outside of your country.
We, women love shopping and there is no border!!
Back at home, we watched a movie 'Hachi'.
Needless to say, it's quite beutiful, yet rather sad story which makes you cry.
It was hard for me not to cry.
So it was my 25th Birthday on Jan 15th!
They celebrated my birthday with food, laughs, and much of joys, and they even gave me some awesome presents!
I am sure I won't forget this day.
There were Carlos with his wife, his sister with her two daughters (who had been children but grew up a lot), and Carlos's mother who speaks only Spanish.
It's weird but funny to be with someone who dosen't speak languages you do.
I know she cares of me deeply like the way my grandmother dose, and I do love her a lot.
Oh, I must have taken photos...
The next day, Jan 16th, Carlos, Laura, and I went to a restaurant.
There, we had special lunch with Carlos's relatives.
And after we ate lunch, Carlos, Laura, his nieces, and I went to see a movie 'Contraband' which is a bit violentic, crazy, yet funny.
We got to Carlos's nieces' house after the movie which I've never been before, and had a little chat with them.
So it was the last night at El Paso.
I started getting ready fo going back which took me not so long.
Packing up for going back home makes you feel sad especially when you were with someone you like.
I cried a bit.
Jan 17th, my last day at El paso, I woke up early (actually too early) for my trip.
I left El Paso in the early morning, transported at L.A., and came back to Japan in the night Jan 18th.
The problem was I got a cold and too exhausted by my trip.
And the hardest part is getting on the train because I was too tired and felt sick.
I took a train to go straight to Gifu from Nagoya Airport, and my mother and brother picked me up at the station.
Now, I'm in my house writing what you are reading.
The trip was extraordinary fun which made me sad to finish it.
I was quite glad that I still can speak English.
I met people who were totally strangers, and had good chat with them.
Using only English for a week made me hard to speak Japanese.
I still think things in English which sounds a bit weird since I was pure Japanese grown up in Japan.
One of the lure of a trip is meeting people.
It might be people you know or not, but you don't really need to be worried.
There are so many different people from all around the world.
We are all different with various back grounds, religions, colors, languages, and countries, but it dosen't mean you cannot be friends or being together.
We are all human just in different categories.
So why not forget the tiny differencies, and meet new people all around the world.
The world is waiting for you!
Comeonberry 19th,Jan,2012
- 2012/01/19(木) 12:18:05|
- 英語道
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どもども
最近は割と穏やかな日々を過ごしているcomeonberryです
つい先日建て替え工事中だった新居にお引越し致しましたっ！！
(元々住んでた所だから、住所は前と変わりましぇん)
雪の関係で工事がちょっと遅れて一部まだ未完成なところはあるんだけども…
超！ステキなお家です！！
�．┘譽戞璽拭蕊佞�
�■崖�建てで１階は全て駐車場。最大8台は駐車可能(らしい)
��お風呂がとにかく広いっ！男性でも足を伸ばして入れる！
�げ燭�ら何まで全部広い(笑)
�セ笋里�部屋が３階の窓際で眺めが最高に良い！！
(周りに高い建物ありませんから←)
と、良いとこすぐめっ！！！って感じの愛しの新居です
お父ちゃんよくやった!!!!
ちなみに私のお部屋はこんな感じ
逆光になっちゃってるけど･･･なかなか良い感じに仕上がってます♪
念願だったでっかい作業台も手に入れたので、ガンガン作っていきます!!!
そして新作はこちら
お引越し前から作ってたけど、仕事があって完成できてなかったスカート
このレトロ感溢れるトリコロールカラーにやられました(笑)
起毛感といい、可愛すぎ←
あとはバレッタ
最近ビーズの福袋を大量購入して、その中にあったモチーフを使ってみました
可愛い♪
ビーズケースがパンパンになるくらい来たので(笑)またガンガン作っていきます!!!
そして今日はもう今年最後ですねぇ
私の今後の目標は「頑張らないようにする」ことなので、ほどほどに力を抜いてゆっくり生きて行きたいと思います
ではでは皆さま、良いお年をっ!!!!
- 2011/12/31(土) 12:14:10|
- 2011作品集
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本日2011年12月19日、世間の皆さまより少し早い仕事納めをして参りました
まぁシーズンのお仕事だから、終わりも早いんですよね
始まったときは仕事に対する不安は全くなかったけど、自分の精神状態に対する不安がものすごくありました
幸い小さな発作くらいで済んだので良かったです
今回のお仕事を始めてから3日目くらいにマネージャーに、来年も来てね！と、言ってもらえたり、
仕事を教えて頂いた先輩から、来年は私が指名するから！と言ってもらえたり、
今日の仕事終わりにマネージャーにメルアドを聞かれて、来年もよろしくね！と言って頂けたり…
求められる事、認められることって、幸せです
思えば私にとっての2011年は決して良い1年ではありませんでした
念願かなって入社したアパレル系会社に行くうちにボーダー傾向が一気に悪化し、病院で正式に診断を受け、
突然意味不明の発作が起きて怖くて怖くて涙が止まらなくなったり、
薬を飲んでお酒を飲んでそれでもどうしても眠らなくて、切ってやっと安心して眠りにつく
体中に刻まれたヒルみたいな傷跡は、一生消えないでしょう
そして次に勤めたのは少しでも負担が軽ければ…と思った大好きな接客業
仕事は大好きでした
接客中が一番幸せでした
でもネックになったのは職場の人間関係
次から次へと発せられる、暴言・悪口・妬み
自殺企図が始まったのはこの頃からです
お父さんの誕生日に作ってプレゼントしたネクタイをたんすにくくりつけて首を吊ったり、
大量に薬を飲んで吐いて意識混濁になったり…
今でも私の車のトランクには、自殺用の紐が入れてあります
そして段々と肉体的な症状も出始め、職場に近づくにつれて吐き気がしたり、一人でいると涙が溢れてきたり…
もうこれ以上は行けない。と思い、そのお仕事を退職させて頂きました
そして辿り着いたのが今回の2ヶ月の短期のお仕事
1月はアメリカに行くので、短期で探していた私にとってはちょうど良いお仕事でした
このお仕事を選んで正解だったな。と、今では思います
もちろん途中不安感や絶望感、虚無感から解離に近い状態になってしまったり、
寝る前にお薬を1パック(10錠)飲んだりして、ぼーっとするとすぐ寝てしまったり、
ミスをして落ち込んできってしまったりすることもありました
でも2ヶ月頑張れた
↑
頑張らなくて良いんだった(笑)
そんな自分をちょっぴり誇らしげに思います
2月からも…というお話を頂いているので、そのお話を受けるつもりでいます
来年はもう少しゆっくり働いて、comeonberryの活動もほどほどにして、大好きな英語もいっぱいやりたいです
正直、生きたいか？と聞かれると、答えはNOです
生きるのは死ぬのよりしんどいです
でもいろいろやって死ねなかったんだから、きっとラッキーなんだろうなーなんて思います
ボーダーである事は、果てしない虚無感、孤独、愛情飢餓、不安感、自傷衝動、自殺企図と共に生きていく事です
私のバッグにはどこに行くにも必ず剃刀が入っています
切れば安心します
人を信じる方法を知りません
人を愛する方法が分かりません
I hate you. Don't leave me.
大嫌い。行かないで。
これがボーダーの心情です
ボーダーはまるで断崖絶壁の足場のない場所をフラフラ歩いているかのようです
正に生と死の境界線にいます
それでもまだ、生きています
生きるのはすごく怖いけど、とりあえず明日、また生きてみます
- 2011/12/19(月) 21:50:11|
- 日々のこと
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